Status Update

Things lately have been a little trying.  B is struggling with some issues with his primary and, quite honestly, I'm not adept at navigating these waters.  Sure, I have dated other poly folk and they have had issues with other partners; however, this situation is a little different.

When I met B he warned me that some weeks he'd have an abundance of free time and other weeks he wouldn't.  I grok that.  Up until recently, though, he's had that free time.  Now the kids are out of school, his primary is usually gone every weekend, and just *life* is happening, not to mention the issues they are dealing with.  The end of his free time was quite abrupt and couple that with him being quiet and removed (because of his other relationship issues) - well, it has just made me a little uneasy.

I am terrified that there will come a point that I am too much work for him.  Not everyone is cut out to be poly and it takes up time, energy and resources (sometimes we have to create the extra time, energy and resources, too). 

I know his "real" life is completely independent of me and while I think that's all well and good - my "real" life isn't completely independent of him.  WW adores him, too.  It's not just he and I dating.  There are 4 relationship dynamics going on:  me and him, me and WW, he and WW (even though it's not romantic) and the 3 of us.  WW is definitely a part of this poly experience whereas his primary seemingly wants nothing to do with his polyness.  I acknowledge that everyone's poly style is different, that whatever works for them is what works for them, etc.  However, most of my poly experiences have been all encompassing - meaning that everyone knows one another, is at least civil (preferably actually friends), etc.

I've never met B's primary.  I've been dating him for a few months now and I doubt I will ever meet her.  That is fine, mind you.  I don't want to expend energy trying to be friends with someone who has no interest in even meeting me.  It doesn't bother or upset me in the slightest.  I do think it's unfortunate, though, not specific to her, but just in general.  I am very much desirous of knowing the people in my partners' lives. :)

B and I had dinner last night and he came over last Friday night - so we've been slowly reconnecting and I'm thankful for that.  I do love that boy.

Of course, I feel a little guilty because I know I've been "off" trying to wrap my head around what's going on with him and I know that's impacted my relationship with WW.  She hates seeing me (or B, honestly) struggle.  I do love that girl.

So, that's the update.

Hope you are well.

D-