Well...

I did it.

I initiated "the" conversation with B.

I feel like I said a lot of things and, quite frankly, I feel almost as much at a loss as I did before.

I guess the good thing is that I told him how I was feeling, right?

I get that he's in limbo.  I just don't get why *we* have to be in limbo.  I know that when things are a little wobbly for me I tend to cling to the things I *know.*  Maybe he doesn't know me.  Maybe he doesn't know where I stand.  Maybe it's because he hasn't been listening.

I want him to be an active participant in this relationship *with* me.  I don't just want a participant observer.  I want him to make a decision.  I want him to stop putting it off on me, and that's what it feels like right now.  I have asked him in this conversation repeatedly to tell me how our relationship works for him and he will not answer it.  How many more ways do I have to come up with how to phrase a question?

Maybe he's avoiding answering me because it's really not worth the thought it takes him to formulate an answer.  I feel extremely insignificant right now.  I don't have to be the Queen.  I just don't want to be a peasant, either.