Writing it all out (Part 2)

So, the first thing I'll tackle is my relationship with my wonderful wife. 

She is truly amazing.  Truly.  We are so in sync it's a little scary sometimes.  We finish one another's sentences, we have the same routines, we are definitely on the same page.  After nearly 12 years we should be, right?  I struggle from time to time with not being enough for her, which is just odd in that I am the practicing poly person and she's monogamous.  I worry that I keep her from things she needs, mainly sex.  You see, I identify as bisexual; however, she's the only woman I am romantically involved with and the only woman I *want* to be romantically involved with.

Do not misunderstand.  OMG.  The sex we have is amazing.  Seriously.  We just don't have it often for some reason or another.  We're tired.  One of us isn't feeling well.  We have other stuff to do.  I have to ask myself if we're making excuses? 

One thing is she has issues initiating it.  I share that with her.  I'm not good at initiating sex with a woman.  I don't know why.  She's not good at initiating sex with anyone - which - in all fairness - what woman really has to initiate sex with ANY boy?

This is something we've battled since the start of our relationship.  The desire is not lacking, it's just the follow through that we have troubles with.

I just can't shake the feeling that I'm not everything she needs - even when she tells me so.